Twin of the Day – Penny: The polls are closed and the results have been tabulated. — It’s official: Penny is a cutie-pie! However, random people on the street often often mistake her for a boy — “What a handsome little fella.” Once we clarify the gender, we usually receive a swift apology along with a gender ‘appropriate’ compliment such as — “Beautiful!” or “Watch out daddy, she’s gonna be a diva!” This confusion is not surprising — Babies are androgynous. However, Penny has started asking questions.
“Daddy… I’m a girl! Isn’t it obvious?!”
“No, sweetie. It’s not… especially if you’re fully clothed and wearing gender neutral attire. — Would you prefer to exclusively wear pink?”
“No, daddy. — I don’t even understand why some colors are girly and others boyish.”
“It’s arbitrary, sweetie. — Just like how in Italian, cars are considered feminine, and restaurants are masculine.
“That’s bananas! — Daddy, why is it important that people know my gender anyway?
“Not sure, sweetie. It doesn’t bother me if someone thinks you’re a boy.
“Then, why do you correct them?”
“Hmmm… Well, because it could get awkward if they ask follow up questions. — At that point, they’d wonder why I didn’t correct them in the first place — And then I WOULD look like the jerk.”
“Daddy, I can’t picture anyone ever getting mad at you.”
“Thanks, sweetie. — Here, I’ll give you an example. Let’s role-play. I’ll be the man on the street, and you be me. Whatever I say, just go with the flow — don’t correct me.”
“My, what a handsome young devil.’”
“He looks like a future quarterback.”
“I hope so!”
“What’s his name?”
“Oh. Um. How’s his penis?”
Dadddy!! Grossss! Nobody would ever ask that!
“You never know, sweetie. It could be a valid question — Baby boys often spray pee on mommies and daddies during diaper changes.”
“OMG! Really, daddy!? That’s soooo gross! — So, Clemmy pees on you and mommy?”
“Huh!? Sweetie, are you kidding? — Clemmy is a GIRL!
“Really, daddy?! Are you sure? I could’ve sworn she was flirting with that baby girl down the hall.”
“Sweetie, Sue is a BOY!”
“Whoa! What? Let me get this straight! — Clemmy is a GIRL? And Sue is a BOY?”
“Yes, sweetie. — Do you see them differently now?
“No daddy. Not at all.”
“Are you gonna start flirting with Sue now?”
“Noooo! Don’t get me wrong, daddy… Sue’s a charming young man, but Clemmy can have him.”
“Is there anyone YOU like, sweetie?”
“To be honest, I don’t know, daddy. — In this era of gender neutrality, I think I’m gonna abstain from dating. — At least until I can see some Adam’s apples and facial hair.