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It Takes a World: A Tribute to the Strangers Who Held Our Babies for a Moment and Touched Our Hearts Forever…

When our twin girls were two months old, we traveled overnight from New York City to Cleveland on an Amtrak. We rented a small sleeper cabin — equipped with a sink, table, bunk beds, storage space, and a toilet (which I would not recommend using). Although the cabin was out of our budget, it was worth splurging on for our first time traveling with babies. A few hours into our 13 hour journey, we ventured out of our private quarters to the dining car. To our surprise, the train was filled with empty-nesters traveling across the country — and desperate to hold our babies. They passed our girls around like popcorn while we enjoyed our first stress-free meal in weeks. When we got back to NYC, we started looking for bars and restaurants where grandparents hang out. This past year has been exhausting, but we got through it thanks to the kindness of strangers. (Below, in no particular order, are ten of those special people) Continue reading It Takes a World: A Tribute to the Strangers Who Held Our Babies for a Moment and Touched Our Hearts Forever…

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Baby Whisperer Gently Holds Baby Hostage at Local Dairy Queen

Cleveland, OH — The neighborhood Dairy Queen, traditionally reputed as a cool place to hang, was recently the site of a bizarre hostage standoff between a mother and a self-proclaimed “baby whisperer.” The victim was 35-year-old Kathy McDonald, who herself has felt like a hostage since her three-month-old son, Linus, was born. “I was already on the verge of a breakdown this week, said Kathy while struggling to light a cigarette. “Linus has been inconsolable for weeks — I’ve tried every trick in the book.” After a particularly stressful night, Kathy suddenly found herself craving a Blizzard. As soon as she entered the DQ, Linus passed out. “I knew it wouldn’t last long — I was just hoping to savor my Blizzard in peace. Of course, as soon as I sat down the little shit woke up crying bloody murder.”  Continue reading Baby Whisperer Gently Holds Baby Hostage at Local Dairy Queen

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Minimally Buzzed Parenting

“I feel sorry for people that don’t drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.” I love this quote by the late great Frank Sinatra, but it’s a mantra that most adults can’t swing, especially parents of young children. Yet, it’s perfectly normal for parents to unwind with a drink or two — some would say, essential. It’s been months since my last hangover, but I’ve still been feeling rundown in the morning. Our 10-month-old girls usually wake up bright and chipper at 6:00am; now that they’re crawling, I really have to be at the top of my game. As much as I crave a hoppy IPA at the end of a long day, I decided to take a break from drinking — with limited exceptions for holidays and celebrations. In the mean time, Penny has taken on the role of resident teetotaler.

“Daddy, WTF?”

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“What are you drinking!?”

“It’s called a Negroni — equal parts gin, sweet vermouth, and Campari.”

“An alcoholic beverage?!”

“Oh, you betcha!” Continue reading Minimally Buzzed Parenting

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Good Naked, Bad Naked, and Naked Parenting

“I can’t look anymore — I’ve seen too much!” This classic line from the iconic TV show Seinfeld, was Jerry’s response to observing his girlfriend struggle to open a jar of pickles in the nude. As is often the case, Jerry was tapping into a universally relatable situation. When Jerry shares his experience with his friend George, George gleefully responds, “It’s like you’re living in the Playboy Mansion!” Jerry then sets his naive friend straight: “Coughing? Naked? It’s a turnoff, man. When you cough there are 1,000s of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It’s like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in the stomach in slow motion. The thing you don’t realize is there’s good naked and bad naked.” Continue reading Good Naked, Bad Naked, and Naked Parenting