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Life Begins at One – Exciting Birthday Milestones For Ages 1-15

Congrats! It’s you’re first birthday! The path to adulthood is marked by ages that signify responsibility: 16, you can get your driver’s license; 18 you can vote,  join the Army, and enter into legally binding contracts; 21, you can numb your pain with alcohol, and 25 you can finally rent a car. These are certainly landmark birthdays that arrive with serious significance; but starting at age one (1), every year brings about new and exciting privileges and responsibilities.





Age 1: You can play with unvaccinated kids. 

As long as you’re fully immunized.

Age 2: You can watch TV (without rotting the brain).

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that children under two years of age should avoid TV consumption.

Age 3: You get your own seat on airplanes.  

Your new privilege is a costly burden on your parents.

Age 4: You can attend Broadway shows.


Age 5: You have the right to learn stuff.

It’s not for everyone.

Age 6: Hot Tubs! 

According to the CDC, children under five years old should not be exposed to water of not more than 95° F.

Age 7: You can dine at this restaurant in Australia.

Business is booming for this restaurant that banned children under 7.

Age 8: You can ditch your parents at public pools. 

You can be left unattended at public pools, after passing a series of swim tests.

Age 9: You Can Kill!

*Big-game hunting (in most states).

Age 10: You’re competent to testify in court.

Children under 10 might be able testify, but the court presumes you’re a booger eating moron.

Age 11: You can bang your head.

In an attempt to reduce concussions among youth soccer players, the United States Soccer Federation bans players under 11 from heading the ball.


Age 12: You can use hard drugs!

FDA warns against children younger than 12 taking codeine.

Age 13: If your parents divorce, you can pick sides. 

A child’s parental preferences are important at any age, but when a child reaches 13, his or her wishes are given more weight by the court. (*states vary)

Age 14: You can join the workforce.

Stay in school.

Age 15: You can ride a moped.

Personal Note: My dad died when I was 13. For the next two years, I saved money for a moped so I could visit the cemetery on my own.
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